Colton Antics Take 4

Sometime in the near past
We were on our way home from church on a Sunday morning and the kids were all jabbering away when I heard Colton behind me says " Momma, I love going to church. When I grow up and find a wife, I am going to go to this church". *My prayer is not that he stays in this church his entire life, but that he stays in a church his entire life. * :)

January 22, 2017
Colton was saved tonight. He has been asking to get saved for months. Both Matt and I were saved at a young age and we both wanted to make sure he was ready and understood completely. He would often ask me about it and I would quietly tell him that if he was serious to ask his Dad about it when he got home. This was my attempt to make sure he was under conviction and that Matt had a chance to talk with him about whether or not he understood completely. Each time he would either forget or not quite understand WHY he needed to get saved. Tonight was different. He explained to his Daddy that he was a sinner and needed Jesus to save him so he could go to heaven. Thankful to God that he convicted my little boy enough to get saved. AMEN!

February 2017
Colton got a sucker at church one Wednesday night and we noticed that a few minutes after sucking on it, his three year old cousin had it in his mouth (Dexter). When Colton was questioned on why Dexter now had his sucker he replied with... "don't worry, I sucked off all the germs first". What!?! Oh my goodness. I guess we need a lesson on germs. ;)

March 2017
Colton came inside from playing in the sandbox with Sis and explains" Sis and I are building an altar for a sacrifice". Then he goes on to ask... "since Koda is a meathead, Sis and I were wondering if we could use her as the sacrifice?" What!?! (Just as a side note, he recently read about sacrifices in the Bible and Koda is our dog).

March 13th, 2017
Colton received his first black eye today. Knowing my son, I would NOT have guessed that this is how he did it.....he was taking a shower and I heard a piercing scream. I ran into the bathroom and he had fallen and had hit the soap dispenser cut out on the side of the tub. Guess that shower was meaner than it looked. ;)

July 2017
I heard the girls screaming "kill it with my shoe", kill it with my shoe". Then Emma comes running towards me explaining there is a bug in the bathroom. I go investigate and find Colton standing over a pincher bug. I tell him to move over so I can kill it. He stands up, looks me in the eye and responds with "don't worry momma, I already killed it with my gun". (As he proceeds to show me the nerf gun in his hand). Hahahahahaha ! I was impressed....cause he did actually kill it by shooting. #hunterintraining

September 9, 2017
During our read aloud time we rotate between a bunch of different "genres" of books. One of them is a joke book. This particular morning the joke was "Why is a snake fun to hang out with?". Colton normally will try to answer the joke. This one he answered with "cause they  might hiss you off". Hahahahahaha! The real answer was "cause they are hiss-terical" but I think I like his answer best.

September 23
I made Chicken Fried Rice for dinner but left it on the counter to cool before dishing it up to the kids. Apparently Colton wanted to improve it cause when I got back he had added some ingredients to it. Let's just say it was VERY GARLICKY when we ate it. (He also added more eggs, sesame oil, soy sauce and onion to it). I guess that's what happens when he watches cooking shows with his Nonna. #choppedintraining

November 28, 2017
We were cleaning up the kitchen after dinner and I have Pandora on in the background when Colton turns to me and asks "Momma, would you care for a dance?"---And the dishes were set aside. ;)

December 2017
I had just woken up from a nap and found a note put under my bedroom door from Colton. It read "Mom, I love you so much. I am at the mailbox. I am old enough to have more freedom. I can handle myself. Leave the door open all night. From Colton"....Luckily when I dashed out the door I found him quietly sitting in front of the TV watching Netflix. Turns out he realized it was a bad idea and told me he changed his mind. ;)

My Kenzie Girl #3

April 2016

While visiting my parents in California my Dad took Makenzie on her own special date. At the end of the their date he took her by a frozen yogurt shop where I worked at in high school. My family had grown to know the owner well (another one of my sisters worked there for a bit also). At the end of their visit with Bob (the owner) my Dad instructs Kenzie to tell him bye. As they are walking out the door she waves and yells back "Bye Bob, your'e an idiot!". Since the yogurt store is right across the street from the high school it was filled with high school students who started laughing and then proceeded to give her high fives. Once they got in the car my Dad immediately questioned Kenzie why she would say something so rude. Her response was "Its from the movie: Minions....Bob...he's an idiot". Hehehehehe!

May 2016

We had gone to California to visit my parents and we (Colton, Kenzie, Emma and Me) were taking a potty break in the airport before saying our final goodbyes. Kenzie is in the stage where she wants to do everything herself so she asked if she could go into the bathroom stall next to mine. When I gave her permission I followed up with "lock the door and she replied "okay, momma". I waited maybe two seconds and instructed again since I did not hear the door lock "Kenzie, lock the door", which she happily replied with "okay, momma". After another two seconds and not hearing the door lock again I instructed a little firmer with "Kenzie, lock the door.".....another cheery "okay, momma followed" but still no lock. Deciding to take a different approach I finally asked "Makenzie, did you lock the door?" Which she replied "Oh, I forgot". (Remember this whole conversation took about 10 seconds). This brought laughter from the other bathroom patrons including Grandma. :)

Sometime Later
The kiddos will often awake in the morning while I am reading my Bible on the couch. Normally they will quietly come and sit next to me until I am done or they get hungry. On one such morning Kenzie, was hungry and asked for a cookie (Oreo). I replied, "No, you can't have a cookie, but you can have a cracker if you want". She waited a few minutes and then asked for a cookie again which I responded with the same reply again. She then got up and went searching in the pantry...I was engrossed in my Bible reading but a little bit later I realized Kenzie was back on the spot next to me on the couch so I looked up and discovered her chowing on two Oreos. Appalled, I sternly told Kenzie "I told you you could only have crackers, NOT cookies". Makenzie in all her innocence replied back with a whisper "I'm pretending its a cracker". Hahahahaha!

Another Sometime Later
I'm having a hard time keeping up with the funny anecdotes that my kiddos say (Imagine that with three crazy kids). Anyways, Those of you who know Kenzie, knows that she is NOT a morning person. One of these not so good mornings Makenzie wasn't being the sweetest to her brother and sister so I politely reminded her to use "her kind words". She quickly responded with in the most innocent voice as if she had a perfect excuse for her behavior... "But mom, all my kind words are gone".

Kenzie will often be found talking to herself or talking to whoever she is imagining she is playing with. One time recently I walked by a room that Kenzie was playing in and overheard her saying " I am going to paint my nails all pretty and show them to Xander". Not sure if it was Xander Nihart she was referring to or Xander Lacy our next door neighbor but either way I thought it was funny. 😊

I caught Kenzie crying and asked her why her eyes were all red. I expected her to explain what made her sad but instead she looked up at me and said "because my eyes are rainbows".

My kiddos often get to go on dates with their aunts and sometimes even spend the night. One time Kenzie was spending the night with her Aunt Meggie. They were all tucked into bed when Makenzie (who was obviously hot temperature wise) said to her Aunt Meggie "your hotness is getting in the way of my hotness". OMG!

April 2017
I did something that impressed Kenzie and she turned to me and said "Mom, you're really smart....smart like a hot dog. :) I wasn't sure whether to take that as a compliment or not. ;)

July 2017--5 years old
On Matt's birthday I had gotten him a card and laughed with the kids about how Daddy was getting old. Making sure they knew I wasn't making fun of Daddy I added "but Momma isn't too far behind though. I will be old soon too.". In pure innocence, Makenzie responds with "Momma, you are already old".   #outofthemouthsofbabes

September 1, 2017
Matt is in Pennsylvania for a transition course to the Blackhawk helicopters. He decided to spend one weekend driving up to New York and playing tourist. He was sending the kiddos pictures of his adventures. One of them contained the Statue of Liberty. Before I showed them the picture I asked all the kids who the Statue of Liberty was. Kenzie piped up with "she is the lady holding the hamburger. ;) I laughed and told the story but then a couple weeks later I was taking the kiddos out on a date and they chose to eat at Red Robin...low and behold they have a statue in the waiting area of a Statue of Liberty holding a hamburger.....ok. That's where she got it from.

Colton Antics Take 3

NOVEMBER

The day after he turned five, I asked him whether he could do a specific task. He turned to me with this know it all look on his face and replied with "I'm five now mom". (as if to say that since he is five he can do anything). :)

It was late one evening and I needed to do a Target run to pick up a wedding shower present for a friend. Colton asked me why I was buying an electric water kettle when I already had a tea kettle at home. I explained to him in the store that it was for Miss Michelle and Mr. Jake who were getting married. The following conversation happened:
Colton: Is this for their marriage?
Me: Do you mean their wedding?
Colton: Yes....do we have to go to their marriage?
Me: Yes.
Colton: EWWWW! I hate watching people kiss.
If only I could bottle that up and keep it for in about ten years. ;)



We were at Church hanging around after Master Club head ended. Colton was brought to me with a dent in the middle of his chest, tears in his eyes and shortness of breath. Turns out he was climbing on a stack of chairs and fell over and they landed on top of him. After a quick call to Fureman Daddy (who of course was at work) I was instructed to take him in....on to our fifth Emergency room trip. Luckily, this was one time where we were sent away with instructions to take it easy and a diagnosis of a "bruised sternum". This kid is going to make me turn gray FAST!

December
We were having a family date night and were taking the kiddos to see the new Star Wars Movie. I was craving brownies that night and decided to make some to stash in my purse for a movie snack. I'm really the only family member that cares any lick about brownies but I asked everybody if they would want some anyways. When it came Colton's turn to answer me his reply was priceless...." I do not want brownies, but I will take one and give it to my wife when she needs a little bit of chocolate." Out of the mouths of babes!

MARCH

We went to the park to burn some energy and go outside. Colton was on the swings and decided to jump off. He was super proud of himself and asked me to watch. I responded with "Cool! Just like flying like Superman". I proceeded to give him an underdog and then turned my back to check on Emma when I heard a blood curdling scream. He had stood up on the seat of the swing, waited until he was at the very top and then jump off. This time though, he did not land on his feet but on his arm, breaking his elbow. I dknew something was wrong because when I looked at him he was not moving and his arm looked funny. Matt was at work so I called our next door neighbor who is also a fireman and he came down, told me it was probably broken and helped me get him back to the car. Long story short it was broken in three places. One horizontally across the bone and then each side diagonally. We had to stay in the hospital with him one night in case they did surgery on him and to control his pain.

What I saw when they removed his long sleeve shirt...yep I started crying then.

In the hospital he was very weepy and distraught. At one point, matt told him he needed to be tough just a little bit longer and Colton's reply was "I'm all out of being tough"....

The ambulance ride to a different hospital

We ended up having to take him home to allow the swelling to go down and then readmit him into the hospital three days later for surgery (four pins). After his surgery he was a little (okay a lot) drugged up and I was staying by his bed the entire time while Matt sat in the chair off to the side. After awhile Colton perked up a little and told me "Mommy...you go sit in Daddy's seat so he can come up here cause you stole his spot". I was a little hurt underneath the laughter until a few minutes later he called over to me and asked "Mommy, will you come and put your hand here?" (as he gestured to his hand, meaning for me to hold it). Then I felt much better knowing the little man needed BOTH his mommy and his Daddy.

JULY
I had to buy a long PVC pipe for a science project we were doing and the leftovers I gave to Colton to play with. Matt taught him how to saw through it and make a fountain out of it. Fast forward to this day.....
Colton and Makenzie were swimming out in the backyard when Colton decided to amp things up a bit and started throwing pool toys at Makenzie. He was being a bully and a little rough but he was also throwing things that were soft and pliable at her. She, in return, picked up the object that was nearest to her. Unfortunately for Colton it was a jagged piece of PVC pipe we had bought earlier in the month and it landed right smack dab in the middle of Colton's face....off to the ER we went. Fortunately all it needed was glue.

AUGUST

Before church Colton had his cds playing and was listening to "America The Beautiful". On the way to church he pipes up and says "Momma, did you know that God can make anything?" *pause* "even a plane out of fruit." I was completely puzzled so I first confirmed his statement and then asked him why he said that. His reply was priceless... "you know, the song mom. The one that talks about "fruited plains". Hehehehehe!

Colton came up to me, proceeded to flex his biceps and announced "Mom, say hello to strong and stronger" and then kissed each one of them. (OMG)